When It Feels Like Nothing Helps
For years, Jen carried a heavy mix of depression, trauma, and deep loneliness.
Jen tried different medications, but they brought allergic reactions and side effects instead of relief. Therapy helped for a season, but the heaviness never really lifted. At the end of the day, Jen still felt useless, worthless, and unseen.
Jen's words are raw: “I felt everything…except loved.”
On the outside, life kept moving—work, responsibilities, relationships. On the inside, Jen was barely hanging on. Most mornings started with tears. Jen would wake up, cry for two hours, cry on the way to work, and cry on the job.
Yet even in that place, God had not left her.
Crying Out To God In The Middle Of The Workday
In the middle of that darkness, Jen started doing the one thing she knew to do: talk to God. On Jen's commute, through tears, she prayed. At work, when she felt overwhelmed, she prayed. Jen's prayers weren't polished; they were desperate. But God hears desperate prayers.
Jen began keeping one earbud in during her shift and filled her workday with worship.
Hour after hour, Jen listened to songs about who God is—His love, His mercy, His faithfulness. As those truths played over and over, they began to challenge the lies in Jen's mind.
She started speaking more kindly to herself, not because she suddenly felt better, but because God’s truth was slowly sinking in. Worship didn’t erase every struggle, but it became a lifeline—one God used to remind Jen that He was near.
A Vacation And A New Awareness Of God’s Love
In September 2025, Jen and her husband went on vacation to Jamaica.
She planned to bring her “Jesus music” with her, just like always. But when she tried to use her usual radio app, it wouldn’t connect.
What felt like a small inconvenience became an unexpected invitation. Jen had to find something new, and in the process, she was drawn into quiet moments of Scripture, meditation, and being still with God. Away from her normal routines, Jen slowed down enough to notice what He'd been doing in her heart all along.
On that trip, God deepened her love for His Word and opened Jen's eyes to His love for her.
She came home with a growing conviction: Jesus really does love me. By His grace and mercy, I can see myself differently.
The circumstances around Jen hadn't magically changed, but her awareness of God's presence had. The Lord was patiently, faithfully at work.
How God Used Online Church As One Small Part
Back home, Jen's stepmom mentioned that she often watched church online because traffic made it hard to get there in person. She talked about a church, The Crossing, she had been worshiping with, and how much she appreciated hearing God's Word there.
Curious and hungry for more of God, Jen decided to join an online service.
From that point on, watching church online became one of the ways God continued what He was already doing in Jen.
Some Sundays, Jen joined multiple services, and in between she filled her day with worship and teaching. What had started as survival worship during her workday grew into a rhythm of daily worship and listening for God’s voice.
The church Jen connected with online, The Crossing, became a tool in God’s hands, one small part of a much bigger work He was already doing in her life.
Through sermons, songs, and even the chat, God kept confirming the same message: “I see you. I love you. I am not finished with you.”
From Surviving To Surrender: Choosing Baptism
Over time, God's steady work in Jen's heart led to a deeper step of obedience. As she worshiped, prayed, read Scripture, and listened to teaching, Jen realized she didn't just want relief from depression— she wanted to surrender her whole life to Jesus.
In March of this year, she made a decision: she wanted to be baptized. Not as a quick fix or a religious box to check, but as a response to what God had already been doing in her life—long before any church came into view.
Jen arranged to be baptized by the minister she had been listening to online- Adam, at the church she had grown to love from afar- The Crossing. Jen called it the birthday gift she wanted to give herself: to go all in and declare Jesus as her Lord and Savior.
Baptism didn't erase Jen's past or guarantee a struggle-free future. But it marked a clear line in her story: The old has gone. The new has come.
As Scripture says, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here” 2 Corinthians 5:17
The Real Hero Of Jen's Story
If you listen closely to Jen's story, there’s a thread that runs through every part:
God was with her in the darkest mornings when she cried on the way to work.
God met Jen as she worshiped through tears with one earbud in at her job.
God drew her closer to Himself on a beach in Jamaica when her usual app stopped working.
God used online services, worship, and a church community as tools to point Jen back to Him.
The church Jen watched, the sermons she heard, and the songs she sang were all important—but they were never the main character. The main character has always been Jesus.
Jen puts it this way: “The only thing that worked for me is not a thing, but a who—God, Jesus, the Holy Bible, the Holy Spirit, my online community and church. The Lord has fixed me.” All the glory belongs to Him.
If You’re In A Similar Place
If you’re walking through depression, anxiety, or the weight of past trauma, you may see yourself in Jen's story. Maybe you’ve tried medication, counseling, or coping strategies and still feel empty and alone.
Jen's story doesn't minimize those tools; many people are helped by them. But it does point to the One who can meet you where nothing else seems to reach: Jesus.
Here are a few ways you can turn toward Him today:
Talk honestly with God
Tell Him how you really feel. You don’t have to clean it up first. He already knows and He deeply cares.
Fill your mind with truth
Try listening to worship music, reading a psalm out loud, or sitting with a verse like Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Reach out to someone who follows Jesus
A friend, a pastor, or a trusted believer can pray with you and remind you that you’re not alone.
You’re Not Alone
Jen's journey is proof that God is at work even when we feel like nothing is changing.
He was moving long before she found a church online. He was listening long before Jen knew what to pray. He was loving her long before Jen believed she was lovable.
The same is true for you.
Wherever you are reading this—on your couch, on your lunch break, or late at night scrolling on your phone—God sees you. He loves you. And He invites you to bring your pain, your questions, and your whole life to Him.
If you’d like to talk with someone, ask for prayer, or learn more about following Jesus and being baptized, we’d love to walk with you.
All glory to God, who still meets people in the dark and leads them into the light of Christ.
