What Makes A Man | 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

The question has always been there.

You know the question, right?

Maybe you’ve asked the question before. Maybe you’ve spent time trying to find the answer to the question.

The first time that I was confronted with the question, I was as in preschool. I love movies. I always have.

As a kid, when I found a movie that I loved, I would watch it over and over and over again.

One of my favorite movies as a kid was the Disney movie, Mulan. Anyone remember that movie?

In this movie, a daughter, Mulan, goes undercover to join the Chinese military to spare her father from military service.

It’s a heartwarming and hilarious story about family and honor. It’s almost 30 years old, but it still holds up.

In this movie, there’s a song where the male characters look at Mulan and bemoan her lack of stereotypical masculinity. What unfolds is the best song in the entire movie, “Make a Man Out of You.”

And that’s the first time that I asked myself the question:

What makes a man?

What does it mean to be a man?

Last week, I mentioned growing up in a single parent household with my Mom and my younger brother.

As I grew up, I began to search for what it meant to be a man.

Is a man someone who is confident and outgoing? Is it someone who has power and authority? Is it someone who has all the answers? Is it the one who can throw a football the furthest or date the cutest girl?

I searched and I searched for an answer to the question… but kept coming up empty.

Along the way, the Lord put several older men in my life to show me parts of the answer — men like Troy, Tony, Andrew, Jordan, Kevan, Adam, Mark, Brian, Justen, Chuck, Dean, and Jody.

As I got older, the answer to my question became clearer and clearer. Because of the examples of faithful men that the Lord put in my life, I’ve been able to figure out slowly “what it means to be a man.”

And I thought I had it all figured out… until 2022.

2022 was the year that we had our oldest son, Knox. And while his arrival changed my life for the better and healed parts of me that I didn’t know were still broken, it brought the question back to the forefront.

What makes a man?

It was in this season that my favorite musician, Ben Rector, released a son “What Makes a Man”, where he grapples with the idea of fatherhood and masculinity… which is the same wrestling match I found myself in.

In the years that have followed, I’ve been on a journey to answer that question — not just for me — but for my boys.

And I think that some of you might find yourselves on a similar journey. What makes a man?

We’ve been searching — confronted with caricatures of what culture says it is to be a man… and brothers, we’ve been searching for no reason.

In His Word, the Lord has revealed the answer to the question — He’s revealed what makes a man.

It’s not John Wayne masculinity, marked by machismo or a handlebar mustache. It’s not someone who can mansplain the stock market.

It’s not someone who has a magnetic personality that makes guys want to be him & girls want to date him.

It’s something completely different… and something far greater.

Our text for today answers the question for us. And I think it gives the MEN of the Crossing something meaningful to chase after on this Father’s Day.

Let’s pray and then dive in to see what the Lord has in store for us together.

Our text for today is 1 Corinthians 16:13-14. If you need a Bible, go ahead and grab one from the pew in front of you.

1 Corinthians is a letter written by the Apostle Paul to a church that he planted in Corinth. Paul spent a good amount of time there, but was forced out of town.

When Paul left, the Corinthians found themselves departing from several of the things that Paul taught them. Corinth was marked by passivity, compromise, division, immorality, and selfishness.

This letter was written to encourage faithfulness and correct those missteps.

Our specific text comes near the end of Paul’s letter, during a section where he’s giving them a final charge.

I read it almost like an in-game huddle, at a crucial moment with the game on the line. And here’s what Paul says:

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

If you’re reading along with the Bibles in the pews, you’ll probably notice a slight difference in the language.

The NIV translation reads this way:

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.”

The ESV mentions “act like men”. The NIV replaces that command with “be courageous.” So which one is right?

The Greek word that is used here is a bit of a Scriptural unicorn — this is the only time in all of Scripture that it’s used!

The word used is comes directly from the Greek word for “man”. The NIV captures the idea behind the command, but I think the ESV preserves the imagery more clearly.

At the heart of our text for today, we see the command to “Act Like Men” — that’s great advice Paul… but here comes the question yet again — how do we do it?

Preacher Joby Martin has suggested that this command — Act Like Men — is the central hub of a wheel.

The imperatives that surround this hub? They’re the spokes of the wheel. That’s how we act like men!

With that in mind, let’s read it again:

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

My friends, we have found the answer to the question that men have been asking themselves for a looooooong time.

Today, I’m going to unashamedly speak to the men in the room, challenging them to live into their God-given calling.

To the women in the room, this is not an excuse to check out. While this text specifically addresses men, every believer can learn from these commands.

Watchfulness, perseverance, strength, and love… these are Christian virtues, not just masculine virtues.

So brothers…. What makes a man?

Let’s start with that first command:

“Be Watchful”

A man is watchful.

This takes vigilance and alertness, great focus on the situation at hand.

Interestingly enough, this is the same command that Jesus gave his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26.

He tells them to keep watch while he prays… when he’s done, he comes back to find them asleep.

He wakes them up and tells them again, “watch so that you don’t fall into temptation.”

That’s the heart of the command each time we see it in Scripture. The call for a man to be watchful is not to be prepared in the case of a bear attack or a snack shortage.

The call to be watchful is to be alert and awake so that we’re able to identify the schemes of our enemy long before he attacks.

1 Peter 5:8 puts it this way:

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Let’s be clear. You have an enemy. And he hates your guts. He’s stalking you, waiting for you to let your guard down so that he can pounce.

I recently saw an article about a man who was hiking in the mountains when he walked up on a mountain lion.

Once he noticed the mountain lion, he slowly started backing away. He was trained in how to handle such situations, so he knew not to turn his back to the mountain lion, lest it pounce and rip him limb from limb.

As he walked backwards through the trail, the lion slowly walked toward him… for six whole minutes. He got all of it on video. It’s both incredibly interesting and completely terrifying.

Your enemy is not a mountain lion. No, your enemy is “the deceiver”. Your enemy wants to deceive you into deviating from the life of faithfulness that the Lord has called you into.

He’s prowling, he’s patient. He’s waiting to pounce.

And he doesn’t just want you— He wants your marriage. He wants your kids. He wants everything you’ve been entrusted with.

So identify your weak spots — where might the enemy want to attack you? What are the weak spots in your armor?

A man recognizes those areas and is watchful to make sure that he doesn’t fall prey to the attacks of the enemy.

What makes a man? A Man is Watchful.

And then Paul continues by commanding us to Stand Firm.

When I think about standing firm, my mind immediately goes to the Royal Guard that surrounds Buckingham Palace in London.

Do you know who I’m talking about? It’s the guys who are dressed like the Nutcracker?

These guys are famously stoic — they won’t respond to anything you say or do.

I’ve seen countless videos of people like me trying to make these guys laugh. No response. I’ve seen people yell at them. Nothing. I’ve seen people try everything to break them & I’ve yet to see anyone find success.

To me, that’s what it means to stand firm.

And as it turns out, that’s pretty much in line with what Paul thinks too.

The command to stand firm is essentially a command to persevere — no matter what life throws at you, do not give up. Keep going. Take a breath and regroup… but keep moving forward.

That, according to Paul, is part of what it means to be a man.

As I look out in this room, I see a lot of men who have persevered through incredibly tough life circumstances.

I’ve seen your faith on display as you’ve fought through job uncertainty, divorce, loss of loved ones, prodigal children, & even being fans of the Baltimore Ravens.

I’ve watched you persevere through the toughest things that life has to offer. I know it was brutal in the moment, but your perseverance has had a purpose.

James, the brother of Jesus, says this in the opening of his book: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Because you have persevered — stood firm — you’ve become more and more mature. Because you stood firm, you look more and more like Jesus. And brothers, I’ve noticed.

So what makes a man? A Man Stands Firm.

As we make our way to the back half of Paul’s commands, we hear him tell us to Be Strong.

This is not the Apostle Paul telling us that it’s a requirement to have six pack abs to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

No, 1 Timothy 4:8 reminds us that “Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

So if this isn’t about physical strength, what is Paul talking about?

Paul is referencing the idea first introduced to us in Joshua 1:9, alllllll the way back in the Old Testament.

Joshua had just taken over as leader of God’s people. In his first pre-game press conference, he shares this command with his men:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

According to the entire catalog of Biblical authors, to be strong is to rest in complete security - trusting that the Lord has got you covered. Courage is strength.

The only muscle we ought to be flexing is a heart demonstrating a deep trust in the Lord.

Paul is clear that we have an ongoing personal responsibility to grow in our faith & grow to be people who more clearly reflect Jesus.

But Paul is also clear about where the really power behind our strength comes from.

We can handle whatever situation we’re facing because the Lord has given us all the strength we could ever need. He’s prepared us “for a moment such as this.”

What makes a man? A Man Is Strong.

The last command that Paul gives us on our journey toward manhood is the one that might catch you off guard a bit.

He commands us to Do Everything in Love.

In our culture, love is often mistaken for weakness. But Paul says to love is one of the manliest, strongest things you can do.

The word used for love is the Greek word that you’ve probably heard used in several sermons — it’s the word “ἀγάπῃ”.

In Greek, there are several words that we translate as “love”, but ἀγάπῃ is the deepest form of love. It’s self-sacrificial. It’s benevolent.

It’s the same love that we’ve been shown by the Father.

I’m gonna mention it yet again this week:

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”

That ἀγάπῃ love that the Lord has shown you is the same type of love that is to mark everything you do.

He doesn’t say “Do things in love…” most of the time… or when you feel like it. He says do EVERYTHING in love.

From how you talk to your kids during bedtime, to how you resolve conflict with your wife, to how you take care of your aging parents…,

… to how you end a relationship that you know is heading nowhere, to how you drive on Route 1 when surrounded by the people you’ve deemed “tour-ons”.

Brothers, you are called to do everything in love. That’s what makes a man.

So…. “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

From the moment I stumbled across this passage, I’ve loved it. I’ve clung to it.

I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back to middle school Austin, high school Austin, new parent Austin…

The old version of me searching and coming up empty handed on my quest to answer the question.

But now I know.

What makes a man?

A Man is Watchful.

A Man Stands Firm.

A Man is Strong.

A Man Does Everything in Love.

THAT is what makes a man.

The goal isn't becoming a man so God will love you. The goal is becoming the man God created you to be because He already loves you.

I don’t know about you, but that gives me such hope. That gives me something that chase after. It gives me something to encourage my friends to pursue. It gives me something to train up my boys to emulate.

And most importantly, it gives me a satisfying answer to the question I’ve been asking my entire life.

The world keeps inventing definitions of manhood. Scripture reveals one. _____________________________________________________________________________________

I once heard a story about a Dad not too dissimilar from me.

He had two boys that he loved dearly. He had a beautiful home, a beautiful wife, everything he could ever want.

But, as sometimes happens, one of his sons got upset and left the family behind, moving across the country to a big city where he could “spread his wings” without his “overbearing” Mom and Dad breathing down his neck.

On his way out the door, he said some incredibly hurtful things — the types of things that a Dad ruminates on for years afterward.

The Dad didn’t hear anything from his son. He’d hear rumors from people in town. His co-workers would hear things from their kids about the wild life that his son had chosen with his new found freedom.

And yet each night, the Dad found himself sitting on a rocking chair on the front porch, looking off toward the horizon.

One day, as the Dad sat in his usual spot, he saw a figure appear at the end of the driveway.

He wiped his eyes, thinking they might be playing a trick on him. Nope, no trick.

The Dad stood up. He tightened his shoe laces, stretched his legs for the first time in a long time… and then took off at a dead sprint down the driveway.

About halfway, he came face to face with the visitor — his son who had left him all those years ago.

And while the son’s face had a gloomy disposition, waiting for a lecture — or worse — the Dad picked his son up in the biggest bear hug you’ve ever seen.

For years, he’d been left with just memories of picking up his son, but now the real thing was in his arms.

And that was cause for celebration.

_____________________________________________________________________________________ The Dad was watchful… he stood firm… he was strong… and he did everything in love. He epitomized what it means to be a man.

That Dad is your Father in Heaven. And that rapscallion of a son? That’s you. That’s me.

Brothers at the Crossing, we can follow through on these commands from Paul because we’ve been on the receiving end of the care of a loving Father.

What we’ve received from Him, we are to take to those in our orbit. When men act like men, it’s better for everyone.

It’s better for wives… children… families… communities… our church… the world. So brothers, what makes a man?

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

If you're sitting here thinking, ‘Well, shoot… I’ve failed at every one of these.” Welcome to the Club.

The good news is that Jesus was watchful where we've been careless. He stood firm where we compromised. He was strong when we were weak. And loved us in the midst of our mess.

When men act like men, we really just end up looking more like Jesus. So, I’ll leave you with the same advice that Mulan gave me as a kid — “be a man.” Let’s pray.